Written by Krystin Jai
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What Not To Wear - Part 1
Crocs
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What on this green earth possess people to buy and wear these shoes? They are not good for your back. They make your feet sweat…and did I mention THEY ARE UGLY? But the truth is if you're not 4 years old or Mario Batali, we can't condone you wearing them...at least not in public. Everyone is beautiful, but no one is beautiful in Crocs. |
Leggings |
Okay listen, wearing leggings out in public without a long shirt to cover you backside is just not acceptable. Ladies, I know you think they make your butt look great. But, to be quite honest, it looks funky. There is nothing more disturbing to me than seeing a chick wear leggings and I can see every dent in her butt. Please find a long shirt, cardigan or sweater the next time you throw on those cotton black leggings that allows me to see your white panties…PLEASE! Leggings are not pants.
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Mom Jeans |
Nobody looks good in mom jeans. Not even moms look good in mom jeans. The term "mom jeans" was popularized by a 2003 "Saturday Night Live" parody that poked fun at a certain type of jeans worn by a certain type of woman; someone out of touch with the latest fashions and culture. It is the way every teen thinks of his or her parents. Anyway, do you have a pair of mom jeans in your closet? If so, throw them away…NOW! [P.S. I’m not sure if that picture of Mitt Romney in his “Mom Jeans” is real….but he loss, so lets just add insult to injury
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Extremely Low, Low Rise Jeans
As long as they don't ride too low on your hips, low-rise jeans can be quite flattering on the right body type. But before you invest in a pair of these jeans, you should check yourself in a three-way mirror to see how much skin and/or underwear is showing around back. If your cotton briefs, pink thong or your, shall we say, coin slot, are in full view, these aren't the jeans for you.
Also, jeans with a super-low rise tend to create a situation known as "muffin top." When you're wearing jeans and your waist looks less like an hourglass and more like a blueberry muffin, your jeans are too low and too tight. Just go up a size and you'll be perfect. |
Source: What Not to Wear